BDSM is attracting more and more couples curious to explore new sensations. Good news: you don't need to be an expert to get started. The essentials are trust and communication. Here's how to ease into it.
1. Consent above all
BDSM is based on a fundamental principle: everything is done with the respect and agreement of both partners. Before playing, talk about your desires, your curiosities, and above all, your limits. What is non-negotiable must be clear from the start.
2. Choose a safe word
The "safe word" is a word that immediately stops the game. Choose an unusual word that is easy to remember. Many couples also use the color system: green to continue, orange to slow down, red to stop.
3. The first accessories
- The blindfold or mask: deprived of sight, every caress becomes more intense. Perfect for getting started.
- Double handcuffs: in leather or faux fur, comfortable and easy to remove.
- The paddle or feather: to play with the alternation between softness and more intense sensations.
- The collar: a strong symbol in dominance role-play games.
To get started, a BDSM kit containing several accessories is an excellent choice. Discover our BDSM section.
4. Start slowly
Go gradually. A first session can simply consist of blindfolding your partner and caressing them. Increase the intensity over time, talking regularly about what you feel.
5. Don't forget the aftercare
After a session, take the time to reconnect: a hug, a moment of tenderness, a conversation. This is what is called "aftercare", and it is essential for strengthening your bond.
To go further
Want ideas? The book Dare 50 BDSM Scenarios, available in our erotic books, is full of scenarios to get started.
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